Whenever I am put in a tight spot, in a stressful situation or in the middle of a very important discussion, I cry. You have no idea how embarrassing it could get! I really can’t help myself, it just happens, my eyes start tearing up, a lump forms in my throat, and as much as I try to blink back the tears I just can’t (*cue Let it Go). It would either result in people laughing at me, not taking me seriously, or just feeling sorry for me, which I absolutely hate. Or sometimes, if it’s a very intense discussion or fight, and I have a really important point to make, I’d just cry and won’t be able to get that idea through, which is really frustrating.
It has happened in all sorts of situations, like the days when I had to decide what I wanted to do with my life and what I should apply for in universities, so everyone would gather around me and keep asking me what my decision is. Or when I’m having a stupid quiet fight with my friends in the middle of the chemistry lesson, then suddenly start crying and claim I have to go blow my nose in the bathroom (yeah, no one believed me). Sometimes in urgent family meetings, when I’d want to share my opinion, I start tearing up, and it’s not until they ask me why I am crying that I actually start crying. And of course, the classic teacher shouts at me in the middle of the lesson, bringing me to tears and embarrassing me in front of everyone (I mean, we had a reputation to maintain in high school, and I sure didn’t want to end up with crybaby as my nickname).
I DO NOT KNOW WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING! I guess it does release the tension when I’m under stress, but I can think of better ways to do that. I could take a guess and say it has to do with sharing my feelings with other people, something I’m not very comfortable with. Maybe it’s genetics (blame it on science), because my mom tells me she used to be the same way at my age. Maybe I just need to experience more of life, to understand more, so that I could handle situations like these. I just know that I need to stop this habit ASAP.
holybananablogger 